Staff Writer

As an avid Criminal Minds-watcher, I’ve always wondered what it was actually like to work as an FBI agent. CBSA while back, Reddit user mr_squirell asked, “FBI/CIA agents of Reddit, what’s something that you can tell us without killing us?” Here’s what they said:Note: Obviously we can’t confirm all of these stories, but these people are supposedly speaking from their own experiences as alleged government employees.AdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisement1.”I worked with a woman who was a former NSA. We would always beg her to tell us stuff, but she never did. The one thing she did say, though, was that during training, they show them a video of a bunch of things they’ve found out about and stopped. She said she hardly slept for two weeks after watching that.”—jseego2.”My dad worked for GCHQ in the ’80s doing voice recognition, and he can’t say anything more for another decade. The technology used that lets Siri and Alexa recognize you today was also being used in the ’80s… Just a bit slower…”—arabidopsisRelated: 17 Signs From The Past Week That Made Me Laugh So Hard, I Spit Out The Water I Just So Happened To Be Drinking Domoyega / Getty Images3.”I was an analyst, not an agent/officer. 85% of all classified material is classified because of how it was collected, not because it is juicy/useful. Yes, your boss and co-workers said that stuff about you.”AdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisement—ben704.”We are all told never to use sites like Reddit. Social media in general is pretty much a no-go.”—Throwaway93ee90299 Michelle Brittain / Getty Images5.”An ex-Company man once told me that the movie Get Smart was more accurate than James Bond.”—spiff22686.”I talked with some CIA recruiters towards the end of college and almost applied earnestly after a large group Q&A and then a much smaller one. The thing that stuck out to me was that the guys said most CIA agents are out of shape and have limited combat training with guns or hand-to-hand. They made it clear that it’s the military that uses force. If confronted, they were trained to immediately surrender or to drop their bags and run if possible.”AdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisement—dring157 Andrii Lysenko / Getty ImagesRelated: 20 Of The Greatest, Most Wholesome Posts From The Internet This Week That You’ve Gotta Read Right Now If You’re In Need Of A Mood-Booster7.”If you go through the FBI interview process, it takes a while. Chances are, you’re going to have to spend some time working on crimes against children, which is really tough, and most people don’t want to do it.”—thermobollocks8.”My dad worked for the government, and he told me that any time he had a meaningful interaction with someone who wasn’t American (i.e. going over to my friend’s house for Lunar New Year or going on vacation to Canada), he had to report it all, and if he saw anything suspicious.”AdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisement—AudiKitty”Yep. I went through a clearance upgrade and got asked about a couple of people that I know through friends who I didn’t include on my paperwork and if I knew their background.”—derpyfox Ablokhin / Getty Images9.”I worked with the Australian Federal police with the spider squad doing ‘computer stuff’ for them in regards to pedophiles and finding trafficking victims. It was the most heartbreaking work, but when you got the pedophiles, the office looked like NASA after a Mars landing.”—dr_m_a_dman”I don’t know if I’m allowed to say, but a mentor who definitely wasn’t supposed to tell me used to be a white hat for the FBI. Apparently, all he did was search for pedophiles by tracking child sexual abuse images. He said he didn’t stay for very long because it was messing with his mental health.”AdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisement—mastershow0510.”My spouse is an FBI agent. One of the things they had to do at the FBI Academy was go to the Holocaust Memorial Museum in DC. The lesson was what can happen if you blindly follow orders without ever questioning the morality/intent behind them. I found that pretty compelling, and I was glad to hear that it’s part of their training.”—bukunothingRelated: “My Alarm Bells Were Going Off”: People Are Sharing Their Wildest “I F—ing Knew It” Moments That Prove You Should ALWAYS Trust Your Gut Domoyega / Getty Images/iStockphoto11.”Not an FBI or CIA officer, but my sister is a district attorney, and over the years, she has prosecuted a number of animal-cruelty cases. This led to her having an ongoing partnership with the FBI for the last several years. It turns out the FBI started tracking animal abuse cases about 10-15 years ago due to the incredibly high correlation between abusing animals when you’re young and becoming a serial violent offender as an adult.”AdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisement—TheDongerNeedsFood12.”I have a relative who retired from the NSA a few years ago. She has talked about a few things in generalities, nothing specific. Among them: Alcoholism in general is rife in the agency. When you cannot speak to anyone outside the agency about your work, it becomes nearly impossible to confide in anyone close to you. Even if you have close work friends or family, you have to be careful what you say because not everyone is read into every program. Two people can sit next to each other in the same office, working on the same subject for months, and never talk about it with each other, even though they’re close friends outside the agency. So people turn to the bottle. Her husband worked for a different government agency and also had a Top Secret-SCI clearance, but she couldn’t talk about her work with him (nor could he with her, but his didn’t involve the intelligence community).”—NetworkLlama Anna Clopet / Getty Images13.”Want to work for them? Prepare to do a fair amount of paper work. The form will ask for each of your employer’s contact information, contact information of friends, your history of addresses, etc. They will then send an agent to interview a number of these people. Next, you have to take a psychological exam and be interviewed by a psychologist. Finally, you’ll have one last interview with a polygraph and a professional lie detector.”AdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisement—Sw0rDz14.”The agency employs psychiatrists who are cleared to be read into almost any program. Going to them, though, is often seen as a mark of shame among other agency employees, so they are not used nearly as often as they should be.”—NetworkLlama Ignatiev / Getty ImagesRelated: 24 “I’m So Self-Centered And Oblivious” Screenshots That Are Pure Entitlement15.”Properly secret programs and operations are never named in any way that indicates what they are actually about. They’re generally just two words chosen at random and that would rarely come up in normal conversation, stuff like ‘Cracked Gorilla’ (which I just made up off the top of my head).”AdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisement—xxkoloblicinxx16.”I applied to be an accountant at the FBI out of college. On the first or second page of the application, it asks if you have ever done any illegal drug. Not wanting to lie, I said yes, and it immediately ended the application process. It’s shocking to me that there are so many FBI agents, and absolutely none of them have ever smoked weed.”—scotchglass22 OneMoreImage / Getty Images17.And finally, “Anyone who is a US citizen can apply to join the CIA. It isn’t that hard. If you have any kind of degree in computer science, statistics, engineering, or accounting, and don’t have anything that would mess up your getting a clearance, getting a job would be relatively easy there. Working at the CIA is far more boring than you would think.”AdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisement—Intrepid-Client9449Responses have been edited for length/clarity. So, to all the former FBI and CIA workers out there. What are some other secrets you can share about the job? Let us know in the comments below. Or, if you prefer to remain anonymous, share your submission in the form below.Also in Internet Finds: These 15 Hilarious Internet Fails From Last Week Made Me Laugh So Hard I Shed A Single TearAlso in Internet Finds: “He Would Squeeze People’s Hands When He Shook Them”: 26 Incredibly Chilling Stories From People Who Knew MurderersAlso in Internet Finds: 33 “Brutal Truths” Men Say They Could NEVER Reveal To Women’s FacesRead it on BuzzFeed.com

An actor whose mother was the victim of a murder-suicide in France has urged her friends not to attend his stepdad’s funeral.Callum Kerr, who appeared in Hollyoaks and Netflix’s Virgin River, said it would be “inappropriate” for the memory of his mother, Dawn Searle, to be associated with her husband Andrew Searle.The couple’s bodies were discovered by a neighbour at their country home in the Aveyron region on 6 February.AdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisementThe prosecutor in charge of the case previously told the BBC it was murder followed by suicide and there was no evidence that another person was involved.The statement, issued on Kerr’s Instagram account on behalf of the actor and his sister Amanda, comes more than six months after the couple were found dead.It is unclear why it has taken so long for Mr Searle’s body to be released by the French authorities or when his funeral is scheduled to take place.AdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisementMr Kerr, who is also a country singer in the US, and his sister said that while the investigation into the deaths was ongoing they “cannot ignore the circumstances as they stand”.The statement continued: “For this reason, we must respectfully but firmly request that our mother not be included in any way in the funeral arrangements being made for Andrew.”They urged their mother’s friends not to attend the ceremony and asked people not to share photographs of Mr and Mrs Searle together.The statement concluded: “It would be inappropriate for her memory to be associated with a service honouring the man who, based on all available evidence, may have been responsible for her death.AdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisement”We ask for understanding, privacy and respect as we continue to grieve and seek justice for our mum.”Andrew and Dawn Searle lived in the hamlet of Les Pesquiès, north of Toulouse [BBC]Mrs Searle’s body was found in the garden of the couple’s property in the hamlet of Les Pesquiès, with severe wounds to her head.Mr Searle’s body was found inside their home, about an hour north of Toulouse.Police were alerted to the incident by a neighbour who had gone to check on them when they failed to turn up for a planned dog walk.Post-mortem examinations confirmed Mrs Searle suffered “multiple blows to the head with a blunt and sharp-edged object” while Mr Searle died from hanging.AdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisementMrs Searle, 56, grew up in Eyemouth in the Scottish Borders, and Mr Searle, 62, was originally from England.They previously lived in Musselburgh, near Edinburgh, and married in France in 2023.Prosecutors said they had lived in the Aveyron region for five years.According to his LinkedIn page, Mr Searle previously worked in financial crime prevention at companies including Standard Life and Barclays Bank.

The Trump administration has clapped back at Grammy-winning musician Jack White’s critical commentary on the president’s new-look Oval Office.White, former front man for The White Stripes, unleashed on Instagram on Monday, claiming that Donald Trump’s torrent of gold and gilded additions to the office were an “embarrassment to American history,” describing it as “a vulgar, gold leafed and gaudy, professional wrestler’s dressing room.”“Look at his disgusting taste, would you even buy a used car from this conman, let alone give him the nuclear codes?,” White said, posting a photo of the Oval Office. “A gold plated Trump bible would look perfect up on that mantle with a pair of Trump shoes on either side wouldn’t it?”Jack White is not a fan of Donald Trump or his taste in decor. / Leon Neal / Getty ImagesA gold coaster reading Responding to White’s verdict on Trump’s tacky decor, White House Communications Director Steven Cheung told the Daily Beast: “Jack White is a washed up, has-been loser posting drivel on social media because he clearly has ample time on his hands due to his stalled career.”AdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisementCheung added, “It’s apparent he’s been masquerading as a real artist, because he fails to appreciate, and quite frankly disrespects, the splendor and significance of the Oval Office inside of ‘The People’s House.’”White’s post has had almost 120,000 likes and is the latest of many anti-Trump comments the 50-year-old has made on social media, which has seen him label the president everything from a “obvious fascist and wannabe dictator” to a “Nazi clown.”White House Communications Director Steven Cheung (L) and Deputy Chief of Staff Dan Scavino taking in the splendor of the Oval Office. / Chip Somodevilla / Getty ImagesWhen one comment on his Oval Office post said “it was an insult” to compare “this gold poop” to locker rooms, White noted, “I agree that pro wrestlers don’t deserve the comparison.”White has won 12 Grammy awards, his first being for the White Stripes classic “Seven Nation Army”, a song which Trump used without permission in a campaign video last year, prompting the musician to threaten to sue him.“Don’t even think about using my music you fascists,” White wrote in a fiery Instagram post responding to the video.AdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisementDespite Cheung claiming White’s career has “stalled”, his most recent album, last year’s No Name, was nominated at the 2025 Grammy awards for Best Rock Album.His next major gig is the CBGB Festival in Brooklyn next month, playing alongside Iggy Pop and the Sex Pistols.The media gets a taste of the Oval Office as Donald Trump meets with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky. / Anna Moneymaker / Getty ImagesWhite House Communications Director Steven Cheung is seen during a US-Russia summit on Ukraine at Joint Base Elmendorf-Richardson in Anchorage, Alaska, on August 15, 2025. / DREW ANGERER / AFP via Getty ImagesTrump has been bringing a touch of his Florida Mar-a-Lago resort to the White House this year.Paintings have gold frames, gold cherubs have been shipped in from his resort, with gilded mirrors on the wall and gold appliqués on the fireplace, which is topped with urns.“I picked it all myself,” Trump said last month. “I’m very proud of it.”AdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisementBarbara Res, once a VP at the Trump Organization, witnessed the real estate tycoon’s penchant for filling Trump Tower, Mar-a-Lago and the Plaza Hotel with gold, polished bronze and brass.“He used the word ‘class’ a lot, and it was a high-class thing for him,” Res told USA Today of his taste in decorations and fittings. “It conveyed an illusion of taste and wealth, and that’s why he wanted to gild everything.”A glimpse of all the Trumpified gold in the Oval Office. / MANDEL NGAN / AFP via Getty ImagesTrump has also replaced the lawn in the Rose Garden with paving, claiming women had complained their high heels were sinking into the grass. He is planning on hosting a UFC match on the grounds of the White House next year.

A former choir teacher at Choctaw High School has been sentenced to 17 years in prison for having a sexual relationship with a student that lasted more than a year.Samuel Taylor Melton, 30, of Moore, will be on probation for 25 more years after his release from prison. He must register as a sex offender.He pleaded guilty on Tuesday, Aug. 19, in Oklahoma County District Court to 15 sex crimes. At times, he wiped away tears with a tissue.AdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisement”He’s incredibly remorseful,” his attorney, Chris Box, told reporters afterward. “He wanted closure, not only for himself, but for the victim.”Melton’s wife, father and mother were present in the crowded courtroom for the sentencing, the defense attorney confirmed.The guilty plea was to four counts of rape by instrumentation, three counts of second-degree rape, four counts of forcible oral sodomy and four counts of sexual battery.Former high school choir teacher Samuel Taylor Melton, in orange, is escorted to court on Tuesday, Aug. 19, for sentencing in a rape case. Next to him is his defense attorney, Chris Box.He admitted in his guilty plea that the offenses began in 2023 when the victim was 16 and one of his students. He did not apologize.His punishment was the result of a plea agreement with prosecutors. Special Judge Jason Glidewell imposed the sentence after the victim told her former teacher she came forward to protect other students.AdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisement”You were the darkness that crept into the place that was meant to be safe for me,” Avery Smith, now 19, told him in a 10-minute statement. “You are a predator, and I was just one of your prey.”The Oklahoman typically does not name victims of sexual assault, but Avery wanted her name known.She came forward in April, almost a year after graduating. She at first told her parents.”So many parts of me screamed not to say a word,” she said in court Tuesday, looking directly at Melton. “But the parts of me that longed for my own justice and the protection of the girls you would’ve hurt in the future … screamed louder.”AdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisementMelton kept his head down as she spoke. He tightly gripped a tissue in his hand as she said he had stolen her love of music and poisoned her dream of being a music teacher herself by holding her captive to his “sick sexual fantasies.””You took that from me,” she said.After the sentencing, she told reporters it was important to her to be an example for other victims of sex crimes. “I absolutely think that there are people out there that haven’t spoke out and I hope they come forward,” she said. “You matter. Your story deserves to be heard.”Melton confessed and resigned when school administrators confronted him in April about the accusations.AdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisementHe was charged April 28. Attorney General Gentner Drummond took over the case in July at the request of the victim. The AG told Avery in court after the sentencing that he was proud of her.In a news release, Drummond called the sentence “the longest ever for a sexual predator in our schools.”“Anyone who preys on children should be punished as harshly as possible − especially those who have been entrusted with the education and care of our children,” said Drummond, who is running for governor.Avery told police the sexual encounters began the second semester of her junior year, two months after he was reprimanded for unprofessional and inappropriate interactions with her.Samuel Melton”Do not place yourself in the position of having your statements or actions be misinterpreted as having inappropriate feelings towards students,” he was told in the reprimand signed by Principal Jackie Harris.AdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisementShe told police the sexual encounters continued into her senior year even after his wife found out. She told police some sexual encounters took place in a practice room while class was still in session and students were practicing just outside the door.She graduated in May 2024.Lawsuit is pending in Oklahoma City federal courtAvery is suing the Choctaw-Nicoma Park School District, school officials and Melton in Oklahoma City federal court. In the lawsuit, she alleges she suffered the sexual abuse because of a series of gross failures and indifference at the district.Rape victim Avery Smith speaks to reporters on Tuesday, Aug. 19, after her former teacher was sentenced.Her lawsuit lists seven other incidents of sexual misconduct by teachers in the district.AdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisementAdvertisementHer attorney, Cameron Spradling of Oklahoma City, has demanded $25 million.”We have to recognize Oklahoma has a serious problem,” said Spradling, who has successfully sued other school districts.”Do we not recognize that, everybody?” he asked reporters Tuesday after the sentencing. “That we’ve got a big problem here.”The school district has not filed an answer to the lawsuit yet. In a media statement in May, the school district said, “Mr. Melton’s actions were reprehensible and antithetic to the high standards of professionalism, trust and care demonstrated every day by CNP teachers, administrators, and staff.”The age of consent for sex had been 16 at the time of their relationship but that did not apply to teachers. A new law will raise the age to 18 when it goes in effect later this year.This article originally appeared on Oklahoman: Former Choctaw choir teacher Sam Melton sentenced for sex crimes